Part 2
"The Mass"

When I got home from work I told my mom about the phone call and about the “spots”. I could tell that now she was really worried. I was worried too. We called the doctor’s office and the nurse had us schedule an appointment for a CAT scan. The next day we went to the hospital. I went into the room where I was going to get the CAT scan. In the room there was a large machine that looked like a big frosted donut. The doctor told me to lie down on this platform. He then injected an IV into my left arm. This IV injects iodine into your body that makes you “glow in the dark” in your pictures. It makes your body feel really hot and gives your mouth a metallic taste. The doctor goes into the back room and starts talking to you as the platform goes into the “big donut”. He got on the microphone and told me “alright, breathe in...” The camera inside of the “big donut” spins around and takes your picture. “Breathe out.” He continued to take around 40 pictures. After we were through (about 10 minutes later) the doctor told me I could go and the hospital would call me as soon as they received the results. So my mom and I got in the car and left.

The next day we received our call. My mom answered the phone and went in her room to hear the results. I stood outside her door to hear what was going on. My mom looked like she was about to cry. She said “oh no...”. I knew something was wrong. She told me to get on the other line so the doctor could talk to me. I got on the other line and listened to the bad news. “We have found a large mass, about the size of a large grapefruit inside of your chest. We would like you and your parents to come to the hospital right now so we can talk to you. My mom was really upset now and we got into the car. I told her not to worry. She was on the verge of crying when she looked at me and said, “Cliff, you might have cancer.”

We got the hospital about twenty minutes later. I forget the doctor’s name that we went to go see. He took me into one of the rooms and had me take off my shirt. He then listened and looked at my chest. After he was done, he asked my parents and I to come with him to his office. We walked into the office and on one side of the wall there were about 40 different pictures. He sat down at his desk and told us about the mass. We could clearly see this mass in the pictures. It looked like it covered my whole chest! He said there were two categories that this mass could fall into. The first is that it is a non-cancerous tumor. In this case they would schedule a surgery for me. In this surgery they would go into the side of my chest and cut into one of my ribs. Then they would take a sample of this tumor to find out exactly what it is. Once they knew they would schedule for me to have chest surgery where they would attempt to remove the tumor. This surgery would be very dangerous. He said that the tumor might be connected to a lung, an artery, or even my heart. In this case they would have to remove all of it they could, including whatever it was connected to (lung or artery). If it were to be connected to an artery they would remove a large vein in my leg and attach it to the missing slot in my chest. If it were connected to my lung they would have to remove the tumor and the lung that it was connected to. If it was attached to my heart, all they could do is remove what they can and leave the rest. The second scenario would be that the tumor is cancerous. In this case I would go under chemotherapy for a period of time. If the chemotherapy worked they wouldn’t have to do surgery. He looked at us and said, “Do you have any questions?”

DO WE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS??? WHAT KIND OF STUPID QUESTION IS THAT!!! My mom and dad were completely shocked. My dad told the doctor that I was a saxophone player. He asked if I would still be able to play if they removed one of my lungs. He said “no.” My mom asked a whole mess of questions to the doctor. She then looked at me and said “Cliff, don’t you have any questions.” I said “no.” She looked at me like I was crazy. For some reason, I didn’t want to believe all of this talk about cancer, chemotherapy, and surgery. For some reason I wasn’t afraid.

After we talked to this doctor he had us go to the lab to get some blood work. We went to the lab and the nurse took out about six containers of blood for research. We went home and waited for the results. A while later we got a call from the hospital. They wanted us to come to the hospital and talk with the oncologist, Dr. Williams. We got to Dr. Williams’s office on Saturday. She told us the latest news. “The tumor IS cancerous”, Dr. Williams explained. My mom gasped for air. She then laid out the most terrible picture I could have imagined. Starting on Monday I would begin my tests. On Tuesday I would start chemotherapy. “What you have Cliff is called a germ cell tumor. This type of tumor usually is found in the testicles. But yours moved up to you chest. This is rare. Only about 5% of germ cell tumors are found in the chest. We know it is a germ cell tumor because of your Alpha Protein markers. In normal people, this count is usually between 0 and 7. Cliff, your count is 20,000. This is the number that the chemotherapy needs to bring down to a safe level. If we were to have surgery now to remove it, you probably wouldn’t survive the surgery.” So what were they going to do about it? Well, I was to do chemotherapy for 12 weeks, or 4 three-week cycles. During the first week I would have chemotherapy everyday from 8:00am to 4:00pm. The next week I would only go in once during the week for about two hours. The last week I would also go in just once for two hours. Then the cycle would repeat again three more times. “During the chemotherapy, Cliff, you will lose you hair, be very sick, tired, and sterile. After the chemo you might never be able to have kids, if you survive the surgery. “What do you mean survive”, my mom asked? Dr. Williams started giving the percentages off on survival rates. This REALLY scared my mom. “Cliff, don’t you have any questions?” I shook my head, “no.” That night I worked at KPLU radio. I had been working a night shift on Saturday nights to earn a few extra dollars. That night I got to do a lot of thinking. What will I look like bald? What am I going to do in that room all day? What if I die? I called two people that night, Cody and Kelly. I told them the news. At first I think they thought I was joking. But they soon realized that I was telling the truth. It is really hard telling your friends “I have cancer”. I’m too young to have cancer. I’m only 19...oh wait! Tomorrow is my birthday. “Happy 20th birthday Cliff!".

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