Part 21
"Judgement Day"

My alarm rang at around 5:20am. We were scheduled to be at Virginia Mason in Seattle at 7:00am. Since my dad likes to be early on important days, he wanted to be out of the house at 5:30am. I was in no hurry. After quickly packing my things and getting dressed, we left for Seattle at around 5:40am. Mama and papa came with us and my aunt Heidi and grandma rode up there separately. Since I was allowed to have a CD playing during the surgery, I picked out the one that I would want to “go out listening to”. No, it wasn’t Michael Brecker or Joshua Redman. I chose one of my all-time favorite CD’s, John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman. It is a beautiful CD made up of all ballads. I knew it would be very relaxing to listen to. As we were driving up there, my mom showed me something that they were going to have all of the surgeons wear. My friend’s dad, Ken Mitchell, made up about a dozen cards with a picture of me playing the sax (taken from Grounds 4 Coffee) on them. He had them laminated and attached to a chain. On the back of the tags there was writing. Here is what they said:

"And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
WITH LOVE FROM YOUR OTHER MOMS & DADS:
Travis & Lorrie Hoffman, Ken & Sue Mitchell, Ken & Darlene Johnson

These were the parents of my close friends from high school. I really appreciated the fact that they cared for me and took the time to make these.

We got to the hospital at around 6:30am. After parking the car, we went inside the hospital and checked in. In actuality, it took a little longer that just checking in. There were so many papers to fill out and so many places we had to go to get the papers. We finally finished all of the papers and went to the main waiting room to wait for one of the nurses to let us know that “they were ready”. I wasn’t. We waited in that room for what seemed to be an eternity. I remember feeling sick to my stomach and my hands were shaking. At around 8:00am, the nurse came and told me that “they were ready”. I still wasn’t.

I followed her, with my band of “Surgery Warriors” behind me (my parents, mama/papa, grandma, & Heidi were with me). We went to the surgery floor and the nurse told my parents and I to come with her. “Don’t worry”, she said, “it will only be for a second. Then you will get a chance to say goodbye to the rest of your family.” I followed her to the dressing area and she told me to take off my clothes and put on “these two robes”. In the last few months I had taken my clothes off for more people than your average male stripper. I put the robes on and came out of the changing room. The nurse then went to bring my family over. I sat in the chair and waited. Both my mom and dad were there reassuring me that “everything is going to be fine.” Tears were now starting to build up in my eyes, and I could see them in my parent’s eyes as well. This was it.

A nurse came over to where I was sitting and told me she had to insert an IV in my arm. No biggie. I was used to them. She put it in with no problem and taped it up for later use. It was now time to say "goodbye" to the rest of my family. I cannot really describe to you the feeling I had during this moment. I could only compare it to a soldier leaving for battle on the frontline. All I know was that it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My hands are shaking now just recalling that moment.

The first one to say goodbye to me was Mama. If you know mama, then you know that she doesn’t get all emotional on you. I gave her a hug and she told me, “Cleafo, you be betta’ in no time. No time at all!” It was a little more difficult saying goodbye to papa. Papa was a warrior. He had already had three open-heart bypasses, and he was still up and running around. He came up to me with tears in his eyes. When I saw this, tears rolled from my eyes as well. He gave me a big hug and told me that he loved me. I told him the same. Next, my Aunt Heidi and grandma came to say goodbye. I was still pretty shook up from papa, and I could see him off in the corner crying. This hurt me so bad, but I didn’t want to let any of the others know. I gave Heidi and grandma a hug and told them I’d see them in a little bit. Finally, I had to say goodbye to my dad. This was the hardest one for me, mainly because of the fact that I felt like I hadn’t let him known how much I truly loved him before in my life. Now I had to do it in a matter of seconds. I guess I hadn’t let him know before because, as some of you might know, he is a very exuberant man. He doesn’t like for people to know that he is hurting about something. He puts on the mask that he is fine and dandy, and goes about in his loud, military sort of way. In a moment like this, all of that had to be shed away to the simplest form: A father has to say goodbye to his oldest son. I gave him a hug and told him that I loved him. He told me the same. After that, he went over to where papa was still standing and waited. The nurse told me that one family member was allowed to go with my to the surgery room, and my mom was that one. So I looked at my family again for the last time, and walked off with my CD in hand, my mom at my side, and all my thought and fears in the hands of God.

We came to another room, and the nurse told me to lie on one of the beds. I did, and she connected me to an IV pump. Shortly I would be unconscious. My mother sat next to me and tried to relax me. I was starting to feel a little dizzy now. My mom asked me, “Cliff, I know you are going to be fine, but I just want to know if you do believe in Jesus Christ?” I told her yes. She shed a slight smile and began to talk to me some more. I forget what happened next. Everything went black.

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